- Guest Post by Valarie Lovelight, Author of "Seeing Through the Eyes of Love"
It was heartbreaking and added to my pain. I didn’t like when people were belittling, rude, demanding, or ungrateful before I became homeless. Then once I became homeless, I experienced it differently. The way people treated others and me with their words or actions was horrible. It hurt to be judged because of the way I looked and smelled. People had no idea how others or I ended up in that situation, but they assumed that it was all our fault or choice. In some cases, it was true, but definitely not in all. Some were victims of circumstance, even neglect, from an early age.
As for myself, I was never one to judge because it never seemed right, and I was raised to show love and compassion to others. However, because of my inability to handle the pressure and my personal life, I made some bad decisions and choices. I had no one to blame but myself, and I didn’t blame anyone else. Sure, some people didn’t care about me, but others did. However, at some point, I stopped caring about myself and gave up.
On the streets, I found myself being taunted and seen as inhuman, and was treated like dirt. No one ever bothered to talk to me except for those in similar situations. I became invisible in a world full of people. Very few people showed care or concern. I understood the apprehension on their part, but it still hurt. People struggling still want to feel like they matter to someone. I know I did. I had to realize that I lived in a world where people have become afraid to reach out for fear of becoming a victim of a crime or attacked.
That’s why I don’t say all people don’t care because it wouldn’t be a true statement, and it’s just my opinion. Then my actions would be one of judging, and that’s not the type of person I want to be. Living in both worlds has taught me why it’s wise not to judge people or their situation. I’m only seeing the result of someone’s life, but I don’t know how they started off or how they will end up with a little help.
Isolation is the worst feeling to experience even for someone who wants to be left alone. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than about who’s around you. A person can feel lonely in a room full of people they know. Accolades mean nothing when you’re empty inside. It took the streets, patience, love, and concern of a stranger—and the possibility of death—to open my eyes and restore my faith in people, and even in God.
So, to answer your question in short, I felt abandoned until I realized that first I need to care about myself, before I was able to see that someone did too.
ABOUT "Seeing Through the Eyes of Love"
RAMONA CARSON is a Christian who is extremely opinionated, even judgmental, especially toward homeless people and those on public assistance. She sees nothing wrong with how she treats people or her attitude. While enjoying lunch in the park with her coworker Liz, a homeless man interrupts, asking for food. So much for loving thy neighbor and walking in love–she begins to belittle and insult him.
However, things are about to become interesting. Seeing him over the next few weeks, Ramona engages him in brief conversations, and learns his name is GARY DAVIDSON. From their very first encounter, she has no idea just how much he would affect her world and shatter her preconceived notions. She begins to question her heart and walk with God, facing her hurts and disappointments.
They say pride comes before a fall... so, watch out! One afternoon spent in an abandoned lot with a reverend and homeless people compel her to reevaluate the Christian values she previously prided herself on having. Now she’s forced to see how cruel and hurtful she has been to so many people and ask for forgiveness while finding love for herself. MAYBE.